Is it wrong to say that I have experienced some major disappointments in my life since I’ve started following God?

I know we shouldn’t be afraid of being honest, but I hesitate to say something like this publicly.

The Bible tells us that hope will not disappoint (Romans 5:5), and that “He who believes in Him will not be disappointed” (Romans 9:33). But again, if I’m being real, I have gone through some stuff in my walk with God that I would never have believed He would let go down the way that it did.

I have never really doubted God’s love for me or His faithfulness to me, but I have been blown away that He would allow painful things into my life the way He has. I also know I have no room to talk compared to some of the situations I have seen others go through in the past. I know some of you are going through some stuff right now. I’m praying for you.

It’s not that I’ve ever been disappointed in God per se, but I have been disappointed in the way things have played out in certain situations. Basically, I had an idea of the way things “should” have gone, and God obviously didn’t get the memo. I guess I figured I could have been just as well off without the heartbreak and pain I experienced.

But here’s the thing. The greatest sources of strength, conviction, and authority in my life today have all come from those deep seasons of disappointment God led me through.

He takes what’s disappointing, and turns it into our anointing.

(This must be spiritual because it even rhymes!)

When I think about the areas of my ministry today that I feel are the most helpful to others, they are the places where I feel like I went to hell and back. There were parts of my journey with God where I was convinced I wasn’t going to make it. Those are the areas where I find myself helping people the most.

Those moments in retrospect look much different now than when I was going through them. I haven’t forgotten how rough some of those times were. However, I can see how God used those times to build me up. Now I am expected to help others. I think that’s how it works.

God doesn’t waste seasons of our lives. Even the hard ones. Even the impossible ones when you just can’t imagine God would let you go through something like this... Those are the times He uses to anoint us for our purpose.

In the end, I guess I’ve never have truly been disappointed with God. I’ve been disappointed in my inability to see and understand how it all works together for my good.

But God is good. And He is present with us always.